23 January, 2011

Lament and Celebrations

My heart has wandered afar.
My conversations,
through starry nights
are now echoes fading away.
I am only awake in my sleep

Ask of thirst, to the thirsty
ground, to wavering feet
the lost, for the quest of liberation
an old man, of delicate dreams
and vis-a-vis is peace,
embellishing unto my restlessness.

I am searching for Your tune
for my notes in Your tune
for the vibrations of Earth calling
for the mirror which shows Ego
and for Your trance where there is abandon

I am afraid
I am restless
Agitation, meditations go unheeded
But I shall dance to the music,again
For the sake of the voice
calling me back home.

musings,
but inebriations of my being
and somewhere between syllables
sans the self indulgence
lies a beautiful stark truth
revealed in the journey
in instances of lament and celebrations.

01 October, 2010

[untitled]

Restlessness cultivates inaction
my spirit writhes in a coma
while my youth slips,
like sand between my fingers
some particles cling on...
One day I shall cherish
this stream of specks
moments will linger when everything fades

a moment...

when sunrays kiss the heaven orange
and there are steps to trace on the sand

when shivering eyelids are draped in dew
and the breeze carries a whiff of your fragrance

when the moon broods an enchanting soliloquy
and lament distills the nights velvet beauty

when the heart is drawn to the sad melody
of a faint tune that we once knew

when I can see a vision of heaven
and find its expression in the lust for life

when grace, courage, innocence and beauty is one
and liberty shall be mine

when I rise in love like an edifice
every brick heated in the kiln of passion

when happiness is complete and pure
like the first rains embracing the soul

when one establishes one's identity
and becomes immortal in the world

of the first step of the struggle
and the triumph after the first fall

when everything is fulfilled in a human touch
every reason sufficed by kind eyes

These are the moments I strive to live
since life is the experience
of living one second at a time
And this stream of specks shall be my legacy
after the sands of time have slipped through my hands.

20 March, 2010

Asylum

Towards the fray ends of a time vortex
The silhouettes of the perverse soliloquy
stand as phantom guardians to the abyss
whose colourless walls mirror the caged hunger
A breeding ground of restless sporadic unknown fear
The dream becomes alive as skeletons rise above
And the dream takes you inside - the asylum

Inside the mirror's nightmare that nourishes despair
where every thought is twisted into a cynical realm
weaving every string into an inhuman fear
A symbol that unlocks the door to the netherworld
whose glimpses torture human comprehension
And when the world transcends the mirror
Awakens the soul and the face of the Asylum

An unchained melody reveals regrets and pain
A faint tune playing to a poetry of grief
Hues of an unfulfilled past tint my vision
I escape into another day dream before I die again
Transfixed by a kaleidoscopic view of a beast
I stare at my reality - but a reflection on the mirror
I hear echoes of the devil's laughter in my mind
The voices grow stronger with every sinister joke
I scream in gasps to escape the numbness
Watch the bloodless execution of hope, in anaesthesia
Asphyxiated by venomous excesses and paranoia
I fight the invisible walls of my own prison
But the path of faith is lost in the spirals of chaos
And trapped is my spirit in the Asylum of the mind.

01 March, 2010

The End

Take a sip of a strong liquid,
scorching your throat, it aches, it sates
it waits, for life to slow down around you
you can hear longings of your heart
growing older, watching the purple sky
wonder why, the melody is haunting
why, the pain hurts yet keeps you alive
I'm looking for myself in everything new
but I'm just wandering... without you
'guess I'll keep humming the blues
a voice weaving tales of spirits in search
feeling full but void
like waves crashing against the rock
too much at stake, words are too loaded
sing me a ballad and put me to rest
another moon awaits my lament
its cold, I almost saw u standing here
the world still turns, tears still burn
waiting for the day, restlessly I see
visions of my life echoing at a distance
fainting into sweet and cruel blackness
the last drop from my flask is done with its task
I laugh at the devil, I have nothing to lose

Hypocrisy

Hypocrisy sweetly blended wtih feigned innocence
black venom in the heart, concealed with indifference
juices of hatred oozing out like a melody
like the Devil disguised as a child crying with agony

Aah! But I must not be bitter, not be cynical
Act like there's hope, like a gallow-bound criminal
whatever misconception I bore, the world gladly raped it
But then you are but puppets, He's the biggest sadist

Embodying the ice cold smile of one who back-stabs
you all push your avarice further till the gut's black
and maybe your polluted spirits like it all the same
but the real pleasure's mine - the pleasure of pain!

01 June, 2009

A Tight Hard Slap

I travel in time and space
with visions of the light
like boucing a ball defiantly to the ground
for that reaction in tenor
and the sweet lust of sensing oneself,
mind in a rythmic method
the windmill moving on,
is midnight in a perfect world.

soil put to justice,
SOLSTICE AND THE MOMENT BEFORE
burning ephemeral,
bellies,pride on fire
and there I faltered,
failed to look at the Sun in its eye.
for the moments which could have been,
Mea Culpa!

The worst life is an orgasm 
thats unfolds in reverse
I forgot,
that greater the obstacles,
brighter the glory of the fountainhead
that the sadness of the lone flute
is followed by rustic triumphant strings
Mea Culpa!

The clock ticks,
I didnt.
Mea Culpa!

but todays a new day, self!
tomorrows a new night
but tonight I shall kill myself
and arise from the ashes.
tonight, many paths
join and diverge
with the march of madness
which shall awaken the spirit
like the rapid brush strokes
of a painter who has got the vision,
that ephemeral glimpse of his perfection
That moment of joy,
realization of spirit
realization of I. I am.

I am!
I am!
I am!
and I shall never forget that.

07 March, 2009

Thunder Roads

When the sky turns violet
and the waves hit you high
the crescent hides behind clouds
on a slow, mellow night
you could do with a friend to get you by.

Its all coming back to you now
all welling up in the still of the night
oh how you are trying to be strong
but I wanna be the one man
on whom you can always lean on.

The image of your pure smile
is forever etched in my mind
I have but imperfections to offer, bare
But one day, I'll get there
to comfort thy heart to leave it all behind.

Through the eyes of experience
we came this far, smiling albeit bruised
living in moments with the ones who care
and following the one star in the lone sky
till the end of the cruise.

23 January, 2009

Turquoise

My heart is set free
when I sojourn the sea.
I experience a deep calm
reminiscent of a buddist monastry.

Sun and sky fuse together
subtly amplifying the damp splendour,
invoking long-forgotten peace and humility.
With dewy eyes me surrender.

Nature at it's powerful best,
oozing life root to crest,
and that one beautiful moment,
uncover's the innocent child's zest.

That hidden melodious white noise,
blended in the beautiful turquoise;
seducing, and tempting me in,
carefree dive, loss of poise.

One

The distant echoes
of the withering shades
of light approve.
A chilly wind caresses
the wounds of the soul.
silence.
satisfying silence.
yet, hints of whispers propagate.
the sands of time
stop flowing, but
the time has come.

velvet and satin
numb the pain
the tormenting journey
from the humane,
to the soul
shall herald the return.
the return to innocence
The destination is
eternal, tranquil, perfect.
The realms of perfection
must be explored
because it results
in One.
Let me be One.

The Moon, The Sirocco, The Andulasia....Loneliness

A dimly lit road stretching beyond vision,
'Tis taken with hope of an uncertain destination.
The dull sky and the chilly, grey night
licked their lips in anticipation.

The winds watched curious at first,
then ready to pounce, to quench it's thirst.
"Tell your tale" it asked before striking.
For it too was, in a state of solitude worst.

Thus began the tale of broken pride;
Of the wisps of loneliness lurking beside.
There was no stopping or turning back now,
With nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

"A dream enchanted me, I followed the urge
to go over the top and on the verge (of)
devoting everything to it, but losing it later;
And here I am, only peace within - I search"

"My being, my memories, my hopes are gone.
I am that bird whose wings are torn.
The spirits and shadows mock at my loneliness;
As I drudge on this life, waiting for dawn.

"I have an empty heart and a numb mind
All I cared for's lost, nothing will you find"
And so saying he walked away beyond horizon,
leaving the echoes of a bitter laugh behind.

Kashmir

The water, breeze & snowflakes blend into pictursque perfection;
creating a roslin elixir that overwhelms my senses.
The tranquil aura, in its majesty incites fluid emotions,
seducing me to shed worldly masks;
Its realm of purity - humbling & rejuvenating the soul.
as we sail through the night, exploring the leisurely water,
I notice, her eyes have that glint -
the sparkling reflections off the pearly dew on lotuses,
blessed by that erotic crescent.
Life is beautiful, and Kashmir is Heaven.

BOOM

Everything changes in that one Goddamned moment.
The machiavellian smoke rises, carrying away my aspirations.
Whatever remains of her face is burnt ashen, beyond recognition
Those innocent, restless eyes are painfully inert.
I see her intestines coming out & vomit on the lotuses.
A baby cries nearby, bathed in red & black.
it looks at me for help, as it's life fades in obscurity.
But I am numb, beyond pain. I can't move a muscle.
I shed a tear knowing it's pleading eyes will forever haunt me.
Ihate this place. I hate it's creator. Kashmir is Hell.

The Eyes Of Truth

As the blood trickles from my limbs, 
with cries of pasion and agony, 
flooding my thoughts, my perspective, 
painting dreams and aspirations, 
every drop, an unanswered question, 
my soul confronts me. 
I have to answer to my self. 

A promise turns into obsession, 
obsession into madness 
and madness into awakening. 
The head has risen, it shall not bow again. 
Watch as the aura of truth spreads; 
a new dawn in every metro and ghetto; 
watch its face as it stares u in the eye, 
watch the storm rise and witness the power! 

I am drunk in the spirit of life, 
addicted to the high; 
I have started liking the pain of wounds 
for it only makes my will stronger, 
unstoppable. 
Giving me the drive to be someone, to do something, 
To rise. To awaken. To fight! 
I am life. I am the future. 
I am knowledge. I am power. 
I am the Youth, and I am ALIVE!

Adieu

The clouds are out to shower me.
The falling drops empower me
to let go the pain I hold
a million drops, a million stories untold
they whisper in my ear
soft melodies I hear
I feel light, and it's windy
burning candles within me
As I follow its beam
greeted with a bouquet of dreams
the ocean is deep
with mysteries to keep
the boold flows freely
the night is breezy
my spirit soarsin the sky
I'm tranquil inside
from up there, its a beautiful view
I love you all, I'll bid adieu.

Mercy Killing

The darkness beckons the demons of the cerebral
pervading my thoughts with un-asked-for intrusions
they haunt me with glee, dancing till eternity
I need freedom.

I am beyond your earthly interventions
and that netherworld lures me incessantly
why should I hold back this realm of possibilities?
I want to let go the pain.

I reminisce about what I went through so far
and I know I am not going anywhere
there's only needles between here and heaven
my ship awaits.

MERCY KILLING! KILLING!
KILLIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG

Dune

I have to take one more step 
my destination beckons me 
and I must remember it 
for if I falter, I shall lose 

the desert scorches, the oasis invites 
there are bound to be mirages 
though pleasant, they hinder me 
the chilly wind helps me stay alert 

one most step. 
I cant afford these games.

Good Night

Half closed eyelids, damp eyes,
the last thoughts of the day 
slowly caressing you into peaceful sleep,
you slide into the shelter of your blanket
your own little haven of innocence
as you lay there in a fetal position,
pure.
lucid streams of colours
fill your mind with dreams
interweaving fragments of your life
and you lay there, free from worries of the world
with a half smile on your face
the hair draping over your face
your feet sliding against satin
every turn you make
the heart cringes out of fear
and tries to reach out to your being

I can keep looking at you for an eternity
thy natural and sublime form calls me back
but I must go back to my stark reality
and so I wish you, good night.

Human Touch

Enveloped in memories, these stray strands of hope I clutch
cocooned from reality, I play with these sweet still illusions
and it seems gallant to keep wishing, reminiscing...
but will no one heed my voice or my search
when all I seek is a little human touch

A hungry heart, a few dreams and aspirations
I look up to the Lord, for strength and guidance
Going through changes that I understand not
I ask questions knowing some answers may hurt
because all I seek is that human touch

Now that I realize, the same sun will never come back
I will kiss every ray, and pray for you to shine forever
dont leave me in darkness, I'm surviving on "reflections"
forgive but dont forget, but atleast dont regret
and please know that all i need is that human touch

I swear by the heavens above,
...know that all I need is a lil bit of trust

Moment Of Truth

I sense weakness in the heart, 
everybody appreciates pathos while the spirit is asleep from the start 
the beginning of chaos, how can a mind get used to living in boundaries- 
propagation, condemnation, intellectually numb, no thought provocative 
no prerogative for answers how will you listen to my questions 
what is the point of pursuing a goal if it isnt nigh unattainable 
a goal that is encoded into a system not unlike programming a machine 
yet one worships engineers of regression, taking the bait of faith 
a slow metamorphosis which on close prognosis reveals a stale state off late 
a disillusioned mind is all it takes to destroy the rusting norms of social acceptance, 
the concept of material prosperity cloaks the unrest of the heart 
and if the doors of perception are cleansed you'll realize we are all in chains of our own forgery. 
like a grand saga of an unsung hero, one attaches self importance to one's impotence 
dreams are a dime a dozen, its the execution that releases you my love 
live on!

Inconsequential Moment

Behind all those incosequential moments of life, when i reminisce over life, as everything plays back in reverse in my mind, theres a glimpse of light that reveals a moment that is there yet out of reach and i want to surge ahead on that thought. To explore that path of innovation and self attainment where i glow from within like a shooting star on its way to liberation. I glow for my sake and for yours, i glow for that one moment which cures the human limits and the world becomes still so that i can keep going ahead into the realm of light. I shall see what lies beyond my goal and life; i shall free all bonds and perceive the morning and the night...and life. I am that lilting rythmic piece of music weaving a tale of sadness, love, achievements and the epitome of humane aspiration.

Behind all those inconsequential moments, theres still a moment left thats pure where i dreamt of you. I'm still looking at a kaleidoscopic view of various ways to express you. The beat progresses into the idea, the idea into the message and the message hopefully into imprint. The voice inside is alive again, singing a new tune of hope. I want to see beyond the world-lust, and let the mind be free again as it soars ahead of time, ahead of this cell and into the realm of freedom. Theres no dearth of chains and its manifestations that hold back the words in my mouth but then there is also you. I glow for me, for you and for the world to watch as I shine one, dream on, live on into the hearts and minds of those that believe.

The drops of crystal purity trace their way back from the waters to the rivulets on my skin as I un-dive from the sea of life, the splashed water sheds its true colours and gets back into orderly waves from a splash, I am in air again, on my way back to the land as the feet slowly touch ground and the sun rises back from the water into the sky which gradually turns golden from a deep purple. I open the closed eyes trying to capture the vision and its impact, the thoughts regress from the sea to the moment before that, the smile before that as my mind wandered over another inconsequential moment when my illume spread over the skies like a shooting star...